worldwide hysteria as millions suffer identity crisis due to astrological changes

poor professor kunkle was simply relaying some information that's been kicking around since 130BC. After a newspaper interview in which he stated that 'the earth's orbit isn't aligned to the stars in the same way as it was when the zodiac was first conceived of' he started receiving hate mail, death threats, and phone call from an anonymous caller who simply said "please give me my sign back." poor kunkle.

one astrologer has responded to the news that her entire career has been based on a "slightly inaccurate" system by saying;

"Just as in medicine, when there are new discoveries you don't change the entire system; you just work with it to see if and where it fits into the existing system."

yes, it's just like medicine...
so, does this mean i'm a scorpio AND a libran? please tell me who i am mrs. calmness-in-the-face-of-ridicule-astrology lady.
but most distressing of all - according to the following article - is the fate of the millions who have their star signs tattooed permanently on their bodies.

http://www.theage.com.au/technology/sci-tech/astrological-storm-after-suggestion-zodiac-signs-are-wrong-20110115-19rob.html?from=smh_ft

OH and i nearly forgot, there's an extra (13th) sign that's being squeezed in between scorp and sag. he's pretty cool, his name is:

OPHIUCUS

he kinda looks like he's got a big worm coming out of his bottom, and apparently he's the "snake messenger." i missed him by about 12 days unfortunately.