Tuesday 25 January 2011

the men who lied to children in the 1970's


i recently stumbled across the work of 'per holm knudsen'. knudsen has written and illustrated two books in his time: "how a baby is made" and "the true story of how babies are made". i've only had the pleasure of reading the former, but i can't help wondering if there is a slightly desperate undertone of insistence in the title of the latter. reading between the lines in this book, i can only guess that knudsen is either pro-life, extremely unobservant, or was in the process of sampling some of the various hallucinatory drugs that the 1970's had on offer (throughout the entire process of his child's birth. and i mean right through from conception to labour).

the picture on the left shows a couple of creepy looking, yellowy-coloured shapeless people doing lude things in the standing position. these people don't have toes, eyebrows, lips or noses. instead of noses they just have holes in their faces. they are complete anomalies. the text says:

"sometimes when the father feels especially loving, his penis becomes large."

you will observe that no mention is made of any emotional or physical changes to the woman. the autistic male author seems to view her simply as a receptacle of sorts. this is further exemplified on the following page, when the love-making commences:

"then, to show his love, the father puts his penis into the mother's vagina."

actually, this is the same in the book we all know and love, our very own bible of sexual education: WHERE DID I COME FROM. "By this time, the man wants to get as close to the woman as he can, because he's feeling very loving to her. And to get really close the best thing he can do is lie on top of her and put his penis inside her, into her vagina." upon perusing reviews of this book, (which is more of an institution than just a book), i found that a few disgruntled mothers had made the same observation as me:

"I was dissapointed by the emphasis on the male's point of view in the book. Considerably more information and pictures of penises are included than vaginas. Also, the woman's feelings, role, and consent are ignored in the discussion of sex...There is no mention of whether or not the woman wants to have sex or enjoys it. There is also talk of the physiological changes in a man when he's having sex, but none anout the women. And finally, lots of talk and pictures about sperm, but very little mention of the eggs role ("semen is how you and I and all of us started") and no pictures of an egg. Instead it shows a picture of a sperm curling up to a heart."
1.0 out of 5 stars Dissapointing, October 6, 2005


well, WHERE DID I COME FROM was written by not just ONE man in the 1970's but THREE men in the 1970's...so i guess that makes it three times scarier. okay, so once the receptacle and the penis have been established and the yellow blob people have completed their love rubbing activities, things start getting even weirder.



they both stand around for 9 months while a smiling baby gets bigger and bigger inside the mother's stomach. conveniently, the mother's stomach has no skin on it during this process, allowing the viewer to see the contents of her womb. the author fails to mention that having an open stomach such as this is highly unnatural and would expose the mother and the baby to all sorts of disease and air-borne bacteria. in fact it is highly unlikely that either would survive.
perhaps this is why the man and woman are smiling at each other so nervously.






after smiling at each other nervously for 9 months, they both get into their car of love and drive to the hospital, they continue to smile nervously the whole way.




then the (male) doctor comes out. he is wearing glasses to show how intelligent he is. like mummy and daddy, the surgeon has no nose either. he joins them in smiling nervously.






then the baby effortlessly glides out of the mother's vagina. there is no blood and the baby is extremely happy. in fact, the baby has the first genuine-looking smile in the book. interestingly, the mother is positioned in such a way at this stage that her face is conveniently hidden. it looks a bit as though the smiling me are holding her face down for some reason. weird. they look more nervous than ever. the doctor has a stethoscope in case there is any confusion as to why he's in the room. considering he doesn't appear to have done anything at all i can see why he might feel he needs to hold onto a medical apparatus so defensively.

so that is the end of the creepy story. no wonder kids are so fucked up.

here is a slightly more realistic version of how humans are made:

2 comments:

  1. Hmmm. Interesting indeed, 'luditte in the interweb'. You have enlightened me to the insidious one-sidedness of the sexual education books inspired by generation free love. I suspect even the authors - who the hell calls themselves 'per holm knudsen' anyway? - were unaware of their own, bizarrely paternalistic views towards women, who, from my own experience, don't just sit back and open their vaginas up to the first man that feels 'very loving' towards them. Don't ask me to explain why this is paternalistic. But it just seems to be that creepy 'I'm your husband but I'm going to act like your father' kind of thing. Well, they can go eat a dick as far as I'm concerned, cos I'm not up to it.

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  2. good stuff luditte. your so vitriolic! yeah!

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